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Because I can’t just leave this one alone June 30, 2006

Posted by table4five in Uncategorized.
15 comments

If you read my “When life gives you lemons” post, you’ll find a comment from MissA in which she suggests that it is wrong of me to feel what I feel and that I didn’t care about my mother in law. I tried to send MissA an email discussing it with her, but surprise surprise-the I.P. address is spoofed and the email is fake. Something about knowing that I was writing to a stranger brought out some deep feelings, so I’m going to post the email I wrote here. You don’t have to read it, or comment on it, this is one of those posts that is just to get something off of one’s chest.

MissA wrote:

So let me understand this… Your mother in law DIES and you’re pissed because it upset your routine? Sounds like a completely sensitive route to take. I hope your husband cared more for her than you obviously did.

My attempted email reply:
MissA,
  
  You completely missed the point of my post. I’m not “pissed”, I’m stressed out and upset. I wrote the post knowing that my regular readers would be understanding and leave me nice, supportive comments. When someone in my blog community has a problem they write a post about it, and then we help each other.

  I don’t understand why you felt the need to attack me personally. You don’t know me at all, you have no idea what I’m going through right now, and you certainly didn’t know my mother in law at all. Has anyone in your family ever committed suicide? No?  Ever spent years and years trying to help someone, hoping that if you love them enough they will stop drinking themselves to death? No?  I hope to God you never do.
  
  As for your question, my husband cared for his mother to the extent that she would let him, as did I. What really upsets us is that this did not need to happen. She had us, other family members and friends begging her to get help. She talked her way out of the hospital by promising to go to rehab, then went to the intake appointment and lied about having been sober for more than a month. She lied about eating, lied about taking care of herself.
  
  If she had a terminal illness, or a grave injury, and we knew there was a chance she could die, that would be one thing. You said in your comment “your mother in law DIES” as if she had a car accident or breast cancer. She drank herself to death. Her refrigerator was almost completely empty except for a gallon bottle of vodka, which was never there when we went to visit. God knows where she was hiding it. The food in the cupboards was the exact same food we bought her in March when she went to the hospital. She told us she was going to work and going to AA meetings.
  
So maybe I am angry. My husband no longer has a mother, my children no longer have their Nana. She didn’t have to die. I know alcoholism is a disease, but there is also treatment and help available for it. She turned down our offer to leave the tiny town where she lived alone and move in with us, because she wanted to keep drinking. I’m feeling stressed out and short-tempered because as frustrated and upset as we
were with her drinking, I’d rather have her drinking and alive than dead.
  
If you have any other questions or comments I’d appreciate you
emailing me directly.
  
  Elizabeth

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“When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat your damn lemons “ June 28, 2006

Posted by table4five in personal thoughts.
21 comments

If there is one thing that is obvious about me to anyone who knows me at all, it is that I am not a spontaneous person. I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen today, tomorrow, next week. Not to the extent that I plan out every day in minute detail, but for the most part I want to have an idea of what is coming.

Therefore, when life throws me a curve, like it did with the death of my MIL, it wreaks all kinds of havoc in my life. Obviously, except in rare cases, no one ever knows ahead of time that someone is going to die. And I am NOT whining about all the things that need to be done, all the dozens of phone calls that need to be made and people that need to be contacted.  That is what I do when someone is sick or in need, I sweat the details.

What I don’t like is the amount of pressure I put on myself and the resulting stress. All week I have been grouchy, irritated, snapping at the kids and my husband and even the dog, for no good reason except that I feel out of sorts. Yesterday, for example, there was a skunk walking down the street in front of my house, and like an idiot I said to the boys “oh look, a skunk”, and opened the front door for them to see. What do you think happened?

The dog practically knocked me on my ass running out the front door, ran like his tail was on fire down the street, and then, you guessed it, got sprayed right in the face. I’m sure my neighbors really appreciated me screaming “ELVIS! NO! NO! STOP!” at 9:00 in the morning. I knew exactly what was going to happen and was powerless to stop it. So now, my dog smells like skunk and Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor Remover Shampoo, which is a ghastly smell indeed.

I went out all by myself for a while tonight, and decided I needed a Frappuccino, even if it means going to BlogHer weighing 172 pounds and not 142 like I wanted. The only Starbucks in town is located inside a Barnes and Noble, so it’s like a Crack Den with extra Crack.

I spent way too much time there. I always feel like somewhere on the shelves is THE book, the one with all the answers to all the problems in my life-the perfect housekeeping system, the perfect diet or exercise plan, the perfect…something. Instead of the perfect book, I found twenty dollars in my wallet that I was planning to spend on a bath for the dog at PetSmart, only the nice ladies at the grooming salon sprayed him with de-skunkifier for free (thanks, ladies, you rock!). So, I spent that twenty, on Frappuccino AND a chocolate chunk brownie, full of fat, sugar and carbs, plus Vanity Fair with Sandra Bullock on the cover (I want her hair, NOW), and a book of Logic puzzles for weekend escape/diversion.

Thus, there was light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to try to remember to breathe at least a little deeply, and to not let this change in my routine be such a big crisis. I know everything will get done, and life will eventually go on as planned. You know what would really help? Comments. Please, delurk and tell me your suggestions for not going completely batshit crazy. And please tell me it’s okay to go to BlogHer exactly as I am.

Dixie Chicks take Man Ass on tour June 25, 2006

Posted by table4five in Blogging.
10 comments

It’s true, while the Dixie Chicks spend the summer on their “Accidents and Accusations” tour , they will be accompanied by their very own Management Assistant. But he won’t be running to drugstores for tampons or fetching lattes from Starbucks-oh no, this guy’s job is to BLOG THE TOUR. I first read the story at the Washington Post’s online site.His blog profile says “I’m Junichi P. Semitsu, a professor at the University of San Diego School of Law, a blogger for Poplicks.com, and a freelance writer”. 

 manassblogger.jpg

The Chicks have several websites, the blog itself is hosted by MSN.com . You MUST look on the right sidebar for the Actual Rejected Tour Names-“Ovarian Nation” is my favorite. For a webcast of the show at the Shepard’s Bush Empire, go to their MSN music site   You can also listen to the entire “Taking the Long Way” album and download music as well

I have never heard of a band hiring a separate person just to follow them on tour and blog about it. If you ask me, this guy has the Best.Job.EVER!  The Chicks will be coming to my city in July, but the cheapest tickets are $46.50, plus a TEN DOLLAR FEE from Ticketmaster (Boooo!) and a $3.00 fee from the concert venue. If I wasn’t going to BlogHer at the end of the July it might be possible to go, but instead I will just have to wait for the inevitable concert DVD.
“Man Ass”. Heh.
 

I Got Zero Smacks June 24, 2006

Posted by table4five in Blogging, personal thoughts.
19 comments

If you came here from I Talk Too Much, I want you to know that 1. I took down the offending ad banner and donation button from my Blogger site; 2. I figured out all by my dumbass self how to put in the redirect; and 3. I wrote this post because I give a crap, which I’m sure will cause a house to fall on me or something, since I’m sure Princess Pottymouth hates apologies even more than every other fucking thing I did wrong.

Warning: This part of the post is me being “whiny and defensive”, and should not be read by anyone. Also, please don’t forget to go back over to italk2much and tear me a new asshole for being so lame. I obviously should be grieving and mourning and rending my garments, not checking SiteMeter stats.

 And you know what? I’m still supposed to be on my blog break, and my mother-in-law died last week and I’m supposed to be up North cleaning out her trailer and trying to figure out what the hell to do with her 1994 Buick Century piece-of-shit car. But NO. I had to check Sitemeter after they emailed me my weekly report. And then I had to see 42 visits from www.italk2much.com and wonder what the hell. And THEN I remembered that I had asked them to review my blog. Crap. So here you go, thanks for visiting anyway, even though my old blog was the most offensive thing anyone has ever seen.

This is my Last Post for a while June 18, 2006

Posted by table4five in Family, personal thoughts.
26 comments

In the words of George Constanza, it's not you, it's me. Blogging has become a demanding little bitch of a mistress. Thinking of posts to write, writing them, reading and responding to comments (not that I'm complaining about that!), going through my blogroll and reading and leaving comments, is becoming too time-consuming and is taking me away from other things that I should be doing.

Like laundry. Housework. Opening, sorting and paying bills. Reading actual books. Reading with the boys for the library's Summer Reading Program. Working with Nathan on his math skills.

I never did write the post about how Nathan was diagnosed with a Math Learning Disability that he might have for the rest of his life, and how in order to keep him on track, I agreed to spend the summer doing flashcards and working with Unifix cubes and playing sequencing and Memory games. There, I guess I just wrote it.

Before I go, there are three things I want to mention, each of which deserves it's own post, but for the sake of brevity I will condense them into one.

First, Father's Day. To say that my husband is a good father is a huge understatement. He has gone from a young man who didn't even think he wanted to have children to the father of three amazing kids. He doesn't just parent them, he guides them by example. Because of him, they are emotionally and physically safe and secure young people who are kind, generous and thoughtful, caring and concerned, funny and loving. There is no doubt in my mind that the boys will grow up to be good men who are good husbands and fathers, and that the baby will grow up to be a good woman who is a good wife and mother. We are all better people because of him.

Today is also the day that Kaitlyn is seven months old. I wish each of you could spend time with her so you could see just how happy and bright and funny she is. Last night, we took her out for dinner, and she sat happily in the highchair banging a spoon on the table, then in my lap and Chris', taking bites of our food and smiling at everybody. When I took her in the restroom to change her diaper, she lay back on the changing table, looked up at me, and said "Ma ma ma". On the way home, Nathan made faces at her and she laughed big squealing belly laughs that kept us all in stitches for a good ten minutes. She brings us so much joy and overflows our hearts with love. Happy birthday, muffin!

Finally, tomorrow is our 13th wedding anniversary. Where has the time gone? In those thirteen years we have owned two houses, had three children, four cars, and five jobs. We are still each other's best friend. It doesn't surprise me at all that we are still together after 21 years. I can't imagine what my life might have been like otherwise. No matter how hard my day has been, I can crawl in to bed at night and spoon up against his warm back and feel all the tension drain away. He is my rock.

I've no doubt that I'll still be checking in with all of your blogs, because when I don't I always feel like I'm missing something. Feel free to email me since I do check that every day. And in a week or two, I should be caught up around the house and ready to get back to blogging. I'm still not sure about this whole WordPress thing; not being able to access the template is causing me way more distress than it should. I may have to suck it up and go back to Blogger, I'm not sure. Feel free to chime in with your opinion on that as well.

See you around the blogosphere, everybody. Sounds like the dryer stopped.

Oh my goodness, everybody, I didn't mean to make it sound like I was in such dire straits! I'm really just taking like a week or two off to get my housework caught up and take the kids to the park and stuff. I just didn't want to blog the summer away, you know? I don't want it to be September and have the kids say we didn't DO anything this summer. So that's all it is. Trust me, I have potential blog posts circling around in my head ALL THE TIME, and I know if I don't eventually write them down, my head will explode! Thanks for all the supportive comments and emails, my friends. See you SOON!

Please help the fashion-challenged! June 16, 2006

Posted by table4five in Uncategorized.
12 comments

I know, another post.  You'd think this blog was like a personal diary or something. But I just found what might be a cute purse at Target.com, and it's on clearance for only ELEVEN dollars, so I have to act fast! So tell me, is this a cute purse or not?

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=huc_ja_1_img/602-9537438-0104603?%5Fencoding=UTF8&ASIN=B000BT1R70&nodeID=&merchantID=A1VC38T7YXB528 

And then because I can not for any reason wear those thong sandals that have the thing between your toe, because OW, are these cute sandals?

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_14/602-9537438-0104603?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000BLMH22

And yes, I know I should be able to copy the photos from the website and upload them here, but for some reason it's not working. Harrumph.

So? Opinions? Thoughts? Scorn and ridicule? Give it to me!

Wanting vs. Doing June 16, 2006

Posted by table4five in Humor, personal thoughts.
11 comments
I remember wanting a lot of things when I was a kid. I don't mean like getting to stay up late or eat more candy, I mean like the things I thought I would want to do when I grew up.

Let's just say I have had a serious reality check.

1. Whenever anyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always "a librarian". I loved reading so much that I was sure the ultimate job for me would be to surround myself with books all day. I pictured myself standing behind the checkout desk with the big stamp in my hand. I couldn't have possibly foreseen bar codes or laser scanners or computerized checkout in the early 70s.

One thing I was pretty sure I would never do is become someone's mother. When we played "house" during school recess, the Dad always pretended to kiss the Mom goodbye and leave for work swinging his pretend briefcase. Then a few minutes later, the Dad would reappear and say "honey, I'm home!" and eat his pretend dinner.

Depending on who was playing "house" that day, sometimes the Mom would pretend to be holding a baby. I was never the Mom or the baby in those pretend games. I was the sister, or the dog.

Pretend Dads did two things as far as I was concerned:go to work and come back home, or fix things around the house. There was no making of babies. My parents adopted the three of us. I never heard them have sex (gods forbid!) let alone EVER talk about it. I never saw my Mom hold a baby. So I never saw myself holding one either.

2. I always assumed I would be a career gal, if not as a librarian than as someone else. My Mom worked as a teacher for my whole life. Sure, she got home about the same time as we did every day, but she never went on field trips or volunteered in our classrooms. I had no idea what a Stay-At-Home-Mom even was. What the heck did they do all day? CLEAN?

3. I was never obsessed with cars like some of my high school friends, but there was a car that I always claimed was my "dream car". I was perfectly happy with my light blue Chevy Chevette, but what I really always wanted to own was a fire-engine-red Mustang Convertible with a white leather interior. The only thing I knew about convertibles at the time is that you had to wear a scarf around your hair and oversize sunglasses, and you had to put the top up in the rain. I wasn't thinking about things like whether or not it got good enough gas mileage to be affordable, or whether the trunk could hold a convertible stroller and a week's worth of groceries. Everyone I knew either drove a small economy car or one of those giant Chevy Caprice classics. No one drove a MomVan.

I don't really think in terms of what I want to be when I grow old. There is no time for wishing or hoping. It takes every ounce of my brain's memory and power to remember who has a doctor appointment or whether we're out of toilet paper. I would, however, still like to work as a librarian some day.

An Open Letter To A Kind Stranger June 16, 2006

Posted by table4five in BlogHer.
4 comments

Dear Person who made a $10.00 donation to my PayPal BlogHer fund:

Thank you so very much! I hope you know how much your generosity means to me. I promise to use your donation wisely to purchase things like meals and cold beverages.

Because you used your credit card to make the donation (which I didn't even know people could do!), PayPal sent me your name in the notification email. I have no idea who you are! I suppose you could be someone on my blogroll who uses a pseudonym on their blog, or you could just be one of the hundreds of people who visit here each week but don't leave a comment. It doesn't matter, as long as you know I appreciate it.

Your grateful recipient,

Elizabeth 

Check out my new t-shirt! June 14, 2006

Posted by table4five in BlogHer.
13 comments


BlogTogether shirt

Originally uploaded by Tableforfive.

Here's the shirt I created at http://www.cafepress.com to raise money for BlogHer. It's not the shirt that is wrinkled so much as the body wearing it, but I like how the lettering turned out. I still haven't decided if I will actually wear it at BlogHer or not. If I do, it seems like it would be more appropriate for Saturday's sessions than Friday's. Thoughts, opinions? Would you like one too? Talk to me!

Know any baby names that end in “y”? June 13, 2006

Posted by table4five in BlogHer, Humor.
13 comments

A Belgian couple with 14 children has given them all names that end in "y". Mom is pregnant with #15, and they put in ad in a local newspaper asking the public to help them name the baby because they can't think of another name. Here are the names of their other children: Wendy (20), Cindy (18), Jimmy (17), Brendy (16), Sonny (15), Sandy (14), Purdy (13), Chardy (9), Yorry (8), Yony (6), Britney (5), Yenty (3), Ruby (2) and Xanty (1). I can think of more names that end in "y":

For boys: Timmy Tommy Billy Bobby Andy Robby Ricky Kenny Jamey

For girls: Cathy Carly Kimmy Jenny Suzy Amy Chrissy Kristy Kelly Sally Stacy Polly Mary Kerry

Maybe none of these are well-known names in Belgium. What names can you think of? Play along! I got the article from a link on Fark; here's the original story http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7003883980

Edited to add: I have not been able to figure out how to put on the PayPal donation button. This is a free blog so I don't have access to the template's HTML. If you would like to make a donation to my "PLEASE HELP ME GET ENOUGH MONEY TO BE ABLE TO EAT AND DRINK THINGS AT BLOGHER" fund, kindly visit Tammie's website http://soulgardening.typepad.com/. She has a PayPal button on her right sidebar that will put money in my account. Please understand that I know EVERYONE has a tight budget, so I'm not asking for huge amounts here. I had 297 visits last week, if everyone had left a dollar I would be all set. As it is I have managed to keep the 75 dollars I earned at the garage sale plus scrape together another 20. Trust me when I say that I wouldn't ask strangers for help if I didn't really need it. Thank you so much.