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OOPS! And Also, What Was I Thinking? April 29, 2006

Posted by table4five in Uncategorized.
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I served my son fermented orange juice this morning.

And not the good kind of fermented, like the Hard Cider I drank in pubs all over London as a college student on Overseas Study.

The kind of fermented that happens when you leave a pitcher of reconstituted Minute Maid Pulp-Free in the back of the refrigerator for two months, then pull it out in a weak attempt to get a serving of fruit with your scrambled egg and bacon breakfast. And then your son takes a sip and says, “this juice tastes sour”, and you’re thinking he only thinks it’s sour because it’s not as sweet as, say, chocolate milk.

And then you take a sip which you immediately spit out into the sink while simultaneously dumping out your glass, then you whirl around and grab the glass sitting in front of your son and dump that down the sink. You peer anxiously at his face, praying that it doesn’t turn green, asking him “how much did you drink?” and wondering how fast you can find the number for Poison Control.

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t leave orange juice in the fridge for two months. It’s barely a fruit serving anyway, what with the lack of fiber and all. Stick to chocolate milk. You always smell milk first before pouring it, so there’s little chance of drinking it after it spoils. Plus, chocolate milk never lasts that long at the rate your family drinks it.

That is all.

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Comments»

1. Dawn - April 29, 2006

Well, if you threw some vodka in it, then maybe he wouldn’t taste the ferment?

I have a habit of sniffing everything when I open it. I had a very unfortunate milk experience when younger.

2. Nancy - April 29, 2006

I am terrible about tasting/testing stuff before I eat it and/or feed it to the kiddos. One day I’m going to accidentally feed them something bad and they’ll vomit it back on me for good measure.

3. Elizabeth - April 29, 2006

Dawn-Vodka is a natural antiseptic, isn’t it? Next time πŸ™‚

Also, I am absolutely obsessive about smelling milk, even when I open a brand new gallon. I can never be too sure. And I once poured a glass that was chunky.

Nancy-I sure hope not! Also, my Word Verification is vfdsuxz. Change the V to K and it’s K-Fed sucks! Hahahaha! Poor Britney.

4. MrsFortune - April 30, 2006

There is a NEW orange juice that contains fiber!!! Honestly. πŸ™‚ This is something that I have looked for since I got pregnant.

5. TB - April 30, 2006

My theory has always been as long as it doesn’t have mold growing on it or is only slightly past the expriation date, it’s probably still good. I had no idea orange juice could ferment!

6. Elizabeth - May 1, 2006

Mrs. F-I guess that makes sense, all Minute Maid or whomever needs to do is add some powdered fiber to the juice.

Tb-Well, it might not have technically been fermented, but it tasted damn funky, that’s for sure!

7. Lanna - May 1, 2006

Pssst… it’s a *human* baby! πŸ™‚

8. gingajoy - May 1, 2006

at least you sent him off on his day good and lubed up. and fermented OJ is fizzy, so it;s FUN!

my own refigerator is a health hazard right now. how long can you keep colored boiled eggs, anyway?

9. Elizabeth - May 1, 2006

Joy-sounds like you have some experience with fermented OJ. I don’t know about the eggs, hmmm?

10. Cityslicker Mom - May 1, 2006

Ha, i’ll try and remember that! I have done that before, and I too thought my kids didn’t know what they were talking about when spit it out!

11. Beth - May 1, 2006

oh dear lord, yuk!

don’t feel bad — i force fed the kids expired yogurt last week.

not on purpose, i swear!

12. Elizabeth - May 1, 2006

Beth-Does yogurt really go bad? It’s already fermented anyway, isn’t it?!

13. Marcie - May 2, 2006

Okay, here’s mine. I served my children maple syrup with ants in it. Yuck!

14. madge - May 3, 2006

Oh, isn’t yogurt just spoiled milk anyway? Hope so. I often coast a week or two past the exp. date on that stuff.

But sour OJ? Yuck. Sorry you had to taste THAT!

15. Elizabeth - May 3, 2006

Marcie-Oh no you DIDN’T!!

Madge-Yeah, fortunately I didn’t take a big gulp of it.


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