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She’ll be A Sagittarius September 28, 2005

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I just got back from the 30 week checkup and everything is great. Blood pressure 128/76, a little high but certainly nothing to worry about. Good heartbeat, uterus measuring normal. So yay!

The best news is that the Nurse Practioner gave the go ahead to schedule the c-section, so unless the hospital has a conflict ( or heaven forbid I go into labor early!), Kaitlyn will be born on November 28. Although the scheduled c-sections are done at 7:30 AM which means I’ll have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM. But then I get that whole day with her, and I won’t be exhausted from a day of labor like I was with Ryan. So 61 days to go!


My Head Is Empty Now September 26, 2005

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When I started this blog I imagined that every day I would have something interesting and witty to write about, I thought my life was just full of amusing anecdotes and special moments worth sharing.

In reality, not so much. The truth is that nothing that seems very interesting happens around here. We live a pretty boring life. Get up, get kids/husband off to school/work, have coffee, read blogs and the news, do some laundry/dishes/vacuuming, take a nap, help kids with homework, make and eat dinner, get the kids in bed, watch some TV, go to sleep. I try to look for the little unique moments (like the “gentlemens” story) but either I’m taking most of them for granted and not paying close enough attention or we’re just not saying anything worth repeating. Do other bloggers keep a piece of paper with them at all times to write down what their kids say? Or do they just have better memories than me?

I could always brag about my kids and how amazingly great they are. Ryan, in his first year at a new school, has already been nominated for both student council and the “Creative Problem Solving Team”, whatever the heck that is. He was picked to be interviewed by our Public TV station about how the school helped with Hurricane Katrina fundraising by collecting school supplies. He gets his work done so fast in school that the teacher told him he could help other students if they need it.

Nathan, who struggled as a kindergartner with both reading and writing, can all of a sudden do both. Let’s be honest, I didn’t work with him over the summer at all, yet this year he can write all the letters and figures out how to spell words by sounding them out. It’s like a lightbulb went on in his head. Also, this is a smaller school district with a slightly higher income base and it does make a difference. Last year when they went to an inner city public school, the teachers spent so much time on discipline and keeping the students focused that the learning really suffered.

My husband told me today that he is quitting smoking. I should mention that he has been very good about only smoking outside so that I don’t inhale the second hand smoke. But it costs a lot of money and he really wants to quit. He did warn me that I should prepare myself for a few weeks of grumpy nastiness . With me an emotional pregnant wreck it should get interesting around here. So there! I’ll have something to write about!

Confession time: As I enter my 30th week of pregnancy, I weigh 200 pounds. I can not adequately put into words how it feels to type that. For as long as I’ve been overweight, 200 was always the unthinkable number, the weight that I was sure I would never reach. But the fact is that by the time I deliver this baby, I will be over 200 pounds. It’s important to mention that I am barely 5 feet tall. And that when I graduated from high school I weighed 95 pounds, and didn’t reach 100 pounds until junior year of college. There are a lot of factors that contributed to my weight gain over the last 17 years, including my two previous pregnancies. And I still don’t understand why my husband( who is so amazing that the mere word doesn’t even begin to describe him) found me attractive and desirable enough to even want to have sex with me when I weighed 189. We did not plan to get pregnant, but we also didn’t take any permanent steps to prevent it after Nathan was born, so it was always a possibility.

Now here I am at week 30, 200 pounds on my 5 foot frame, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through these next 8 or 9 weeks. Thank God my OB schedules planned c-sections for a week to a week and a half before the due date, because I don’t think I could make it otherwise. At night my legs hurt so badly it’s hard to find a position to sit or lie in that is comfortable. And I worry that the weight will make the c-section take longer, or that they won’t know how much epidural to give me or that I’ll have trouble breathing. I’m not so much angry with myself as sad, sad that I couldn’t care enough about myself before this to prevent this weight gain in the first place. It’s hard enough being pregnant in the first place, no matter what you weigh, but this is definitely making it harder. And how do you not beat yourself up for it? The last thing I or anyone in the family needs is more stress, especially since my emotional state affects the baby.

OKAY!! Enough of this, seriously. I need to go and do something else to get my mind off of these feelings of self-pity. There must be a drawer around here somewhere that needs organizing or something. If you stopped by and read this post, and made it all the way to the end, thanks for your time.

It’s all about the Gentlemens September 20, 2005

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Scene: Ryan and Nathan playing “football” with Trevor, the boy who lives on one side of us, and Antonio, the great-grandson of the lady who lives on the other side of us. It mostly consists of Trevor holding the football while the other three try to get it away from him. Antonio attempts a flying tackle and bumps into Nathan’s crotch.

Nathan stops in his tracks, cups himself and yells, “Oh, my GENTLEMENS!”

I laughed so hard I think I peed a little.

Tell Me Who This Sounds Like September 19, 2005

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For those of who read about my run-in with my neighbor ( thanks Belinda and Julie!), I have this to share. My boys had an anti-bullying assembly at school today, complete with a ventriloquist and puppets, and they brought home a handout for parents to read. The information comes from “Bully Proof Your School: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools” and describes GIRL bullies this way: Girls gossip, write mean notes, and alienate the victim from activities, also they use dirty looks and verbal threats. Hmmmmm……who does that sound like? Sob…I’m a VICTIM!

Times sure have changed though. I am positive that I never went to an anti-bullying assembly as a kid. I don’t even know how schools dealt with bullies in the 70s, although I suspect it involved calling the parents who then took the kid home and spanked them for it. The story the boys told me about the ventriloquist and her puppets was hilarious- the first puppet went to the “time-out box” to “think about his attitude”, the polar bear puppet learned to “express his feelings” and “accept the feelings of others”. Actually, it sounds a lot like the 70s! Remember
Free to Be You and Me” and “I’m OK You’re OK” ?

Speaking of the boys, it’s time to show them off. Here they are in Chicago this summer, having breakfast outside Dunkin Donuts. I wish I could remember what Ryan is saying to Nathan, I’m guessing he’s complimenting him on how well he did getting on and off the Metra train. They are 26 months apart and the love they have for each other is greater than I could ever have imagined. They are each others’ best friend, they support and encourage each other, and sure they fight, but it never lasts more than a few minutes. Of all the things I’ve done in my life, creating and shaping the people they have become is hands down my proudest accomplishment.

Ummm…. September 19, 2005

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It’s been a long time since I posted anything, because my thoughts are so scattered. In the last week I have turned some kind of corner with my pregnancy, going from feeling pretty good and not much different to now feeling VERY pregnant and restless. And this is only week 29. I can’t seem to settle into any kind of schedule that involves being hungry when the rest of my family is or being tired at a reasonable bedtime.

Last night, for example, I went to bed around 11:30, laid there WIDE AWAKE until 12:30, got up to pee, drank a little water, laid back down, stared at the clock until 1:15, got up to pee again, laid back down etc. until 2:00, and finally gave up. Sound familiar? Does this happen to all pregnant women? The thing that really gets me is the insatiable thirst/reduced bladder capacity. When I get up at night I am thirsty like I haven’t had a drink in days. But I know that even the tiniest glass of water will run right through me and have me up again in as little as 30 minutes. So what is the solution here? I guess I could risk tooth decay and spend the night sucking LifeSavers or something, but dammit that cold glass of water tastes so good!

Ham, ham, tacos, corndogs and ham September 14, 2005

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A big thanks to Mimi Smartypants for this link. It really is worth a look, especially if you’ve never visited an elementary school cafeteria and aren’t really sure what your kids are eating. After looking at the pictures of the food choices, what I would like to know is 1) Why do elementary school kids need so many freakin’ lunch choices? What ever happened to if it’s Wednesday it must be goulash? 2) Why do the teachers need pictures they can cut out, laminate and file in plastic boxes? Just how anal are these teachers anyway? (click on “What do I do with these pictures?” on the right for an actual demonstration!) 3) Why does there need to be a picture of a PACKED LUNCH? Do kids need to see a picture of a lunch box to know they brought one to school? 4) Who in the hell thought up the “Taco Tub”?? Because, ewww. And the “Taco Patty” which I guess makes sense because the meat has been pressed, shaped and formed into a solid mass which won’t fall out of the shell when consumed.

Don’t even click on the BBQ meatballs picture. Trust me.

Dear Kaitlyn:Week 28 September 12, 2005

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Dear Kaitlyn,

Today we officially enter Week 28 of our life together, and sometime early this morning you decided to celebrate in a big way-by moving to the other side of the womb! How exciting that must have been for you, leaving the familiar territory of the right side, already thoroughly kicked, for the left side, with all it’s never-been-kicked possibilities. It was a little weird for me, waking up this morning on my left side, my hand automatically going to that space on my right side where you’ve been curled up in a lump for 8 weeks, and feeling the skin strangely slack, as if someone had snuck in with a bicycle pump and let the air out of my side. But sure enough, it only took a minute to feel the familiar thump, only on the left this time, to figure out that you had shifted. Hope you enjoy the new space.

In other news, Daddy has finished sanding the floor in your room, now we just need to wipe everything down, paint with Kilz, apply the Ballerina Gown wall paint, paint the floor with Kilz, and install new laminate flooring. Since you won’t even notice the floor until you start crawling next year, I’m sure you won’t mind if this takes us a while.

Happy 28 weeks, Sweet Pea. We all love you so much already.

Love, Mommy

It’s like diarrhea of the mouth or something September 9, 2005

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Just when you thought all the stupid comments had been made already:
What is wrong with these people? I can understand trying to help the evacuees keep their spirits up, but to suggest that these kids were having fun? Sure Mr. Delay, it’s really fun to lose your house and everything you own and possibly members of your family and have to witness horrors that no kids should ever have to see and then get crammed into a stadium with strangers. It is just like summer camp! Thanks for pointing that out you ignorant ass.

Favorites and Link-y Goodness Part 2 September 8, 2005

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Little movies that are fun to watch:
http://www.ingredientx.com/watch/tales/man.htm It’s cool how you can see this being drawn
http://www.batemania.com/bateman365/day017.html I also like day011 How to Speak Cat
http://www.angryalien.com/0905/bigchillbuns.asp Some of these are rated R even for cartoons
Sites with lots to look at:
http://www.funkypancake.com/blog/ Hours can be wasted looking through the archives
http://zefrank.com/ I still haven’t looked at it all, but I like “My Cat Annie” in the videos, and my kids like the Interactive Toys.

I’d love people to post their Favorites-what sites have you found that others may not know about?

Can’t We All Just Get Along? September 7, 2005

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If I am ever your neighbor, I can guarantee you a few things. One, I will learn your name, the name of your spouse and your children, and if your kids are anywhere near the age of mine they will be invited over to make a mess in my living room and eat popsicles and watch cartoons. I will talk to them as if they are people and not just small children. I will offer to watch them for you when you need to run errands. Two, any rules at your house will be the rules here, so if your kids aren’t allowed to watch TV or play video games or whatever they won’t do it here either. Three, I will do my best to find toys for your girls to play with even though I don’t have any (yet!) and the boys just want to build Bionicles. Four, my husband will offer you our lawnmower if yours breaks and will come over with his toolkit if there is a frog in your van’s dashboard (it really happened). We don’t play obnoxiously loud music or throw wild parties or play basketball in the street all night.

I can also guarantee you this. If your bossy 6 yr. old constantly tells my 6 yr. old what to do, if she informs him that he has to leave someone else’s house because she has arrived, if he comes home close to tears because she has told him “stop speaking to me, don’t even speak to me IN YOUR MIND”, I might make the mistake of telling another playmate’s mother that I don’t think it’s fair for this little girl to boss him around at someone else’s house. And then that mother might tell you what I said, and you might twist it around in your mind until it becomes an insult to your whole family, and then when I come over to find out why Nathan is not allowed to play with your daughter you might have to tell me that I am banned from your property. And that you’re sorry my son is such a pussy with such fragile feelings, that’s not your problem.

And then I might have to envision what would happen if there was a real emergency at your house one day, an accident or a fire or something, and the police ask me why I didn’t rush over to help and I have to say “gee, officer, I’m sorry, I’m banned from her property because she can’t accept that fact that her 6 yr. old is bossy and controlling and manipulative, just like her mother.”

Now please don’t freak out, I’m not going to cause an accident or start a fire or anything, but I am going to suck it up and write her a nice letter of apology, in the interest of being a good neighbor, because I don’t think we’ll ever be friends. And if in 10 years I find out that Nathan and Miss Bossy are secretly dating and planning to run away together (because karma is a BITCH), I’ll have to send him to military school. Because as BC reminded me, “You remember how well it turned out for Romeo and Juliet.”